Raising Successful Kids

June 14, 2022

Raising Successful Kids

The Secret Sauce For Tomorrow’s Successful Leaders

GREAT DAY EVERYONE…

I know ‘WE’ all want our children to succeed in life today. This can be rather challenging despite the uncertainty and the circumstances in the economy or within mindset of the child. But everything is possible to those that can conceive and believe.

I am sure we can all agree that ‘SUCCESS’ can mean different things to different people. Example: The single mother or father can be a great success. The child that comes from a broken home and yet some how taps into his/her full potential is a success. The individual that helps their teachers, neighbors, or community is a success. The individual that learns a new skill(s) is a success.

In general, it refers to realizing success is something that bring full-satisfaction. It is getting those positive results in life. Of course, the success of an individual depends on many factors though and some of those factors can be rather challenging in themselves. But what is a parents/guardians role in raising confident, committed, creative, and critical thinkers for tomorrow? What truly matters? What doesn’t matter in life? Can my child really learn the strategies of the wise? Will they be successful even though I am not a huge success?

These are questions I never thought to ask. Although, I’m the father of three happy and driven children. Sons that proudly served this beautiful country. One that is going to college and working to be that entrepreneurial son, the other still serving, and my daughter. Who’s a straight A student/scholars working-hard to graduate with honors and raking-up in the ROTC program.

As I look back periodically, I would have loved to have read stories about how legendary leaders from history grow-up or how entrepreneurs had grown up — and not just the Bill Gates, Warren Buffets, Steve Jobs, or Elon Musk but people who we could actually identify with in life. Of course, I am in no way disappointed or disrespect the insight I received from those individuals mentioned.

In 1938, The University of Harvard conducted the biggest study on human development ever done. The university began following 268 male undergraduate students/scholars and kicked off the longest-running longitudinal studies of human development in history. It primary goal was to determine as best as possible what factors contribute most strongly to human flourishing (Success or Happiness). George Vailant…directed the study for more than three decades, went on to publish the study’s findings in the 2012 book (Triumphs of Experience) which is on Amazon. The book’s synopsis:

“At a time when many people around the world are living into their tenth decade, the longest longitudinal study of human development ever undertaken offers some welcome news for the new old age: our lives continue to evolve in our later years, and often become more fulfilling than before. Begun in 1938, the Grant Study of Adult Development charted the physical and emotional health of over 200 men, starting with their undergraduate days. In the book he reports on all aspects of male life, including emotions, relationship, politics, religion, and more.”

Triumphs of Experience’ shares a number of surprising findings. For example, the people who do well in old age did not necessarily do so well in midlife, and vice versa. While the study confirms that recovery from a lousy childhood is possible, memories of a happy childhood are a lifelong source of strength.

The great and ancient teacher Plato said it best; “Human behavior flows from three main sources: desire, emotion, and knowledge.” Everything that is offered unto my kids and our students is a credit of growth in getting older but also wiser. All because of my mentors and teachers — of course more importantly, Almighty God, who gave me peace, patience, grace, vitality, knowledge, wisdom, and understanding.

Raising Successful Kids - Here are five tips, ideas, or areas that have helped us in our home. In fact, they have helped me in the classroom for ten years:

1. Self-Discipline: Just because a child is well-behaved, it doesn’t necessarily mean he/she has self-discipline. Self-disciplined kids can choose to forgo immediate gratification. They can make good choices regardless of how they feel. Remember, kids who have self-discipline can cope with uncomfortable emotions. In fact, some might say their more sound at controlling their behavior.

2. Decision Making: As parent(s), guardian(s), teachers, coaches, mentors, or advisors. We want to protect our great investments and that being our kids/children, but being that helicopter person in their life hinders them from truly development the foundational skills to tomorrow’s challenges, situations, or uncertainty.

3. Self-Regulation: Training kids/children to become fundamental sound in their ability to regulate their emotions is rather challenging. However, this is crucial in achieving genuine success and happiness in this world. Being able to self-regulate emotions isn’t something we’re born with. This is training 101 along with other two herein. It is being able to use principles of feelings.

4. Being Present: I know this one is deep, but it truly is important — you got the whole family together for dinner, everyone takes their seats, but are any of you truly present? Or are you all lost in your own social media or device mood? Remember… it isn’t enough to just be around your kids/children. You have to actually be there spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and physically. That means putting away the FUCK’N cell phones. Read a book together or watch a movie without a phone your reach.

5. Motivate with Values: Please…not all motivational speeches, videos, or memes are created equal. Over my 13 years in education and 23 years of being a father. I have experienced people using rewards or punishments for motivation. Those are extrinsic, which is not good for long-term problem solving or solutions to complex challenges. Helping kids/children to learn how to develop intrinsic motivation is a value that will continue to increase. In fact, sharing your own personal value of why learning is truly important goes beyond school. Because going to school and learning shouldn’t be about getting A’s. It is about acquiring insight, knowledge, wisdom, experience, lessons, relationships, and growing as a person.

In classing — I received a call from a former student (Zek) today. Zek, express his sincere gratitude for being my student. I haven’t spoke or seen this young man in two years. But during our long 90 minute conversation over the phone. He said something that really grabbed my attention — Zek said; I wish, I would’ve really paid more attention in class and I would’ve also asked more questions. He went one to say, I really didn’t like read or leadership but now I see the difference. I returned the beautiful sediments in saying; ‘BUT YOU STARTED’ and that’s what truly matters. Some kids/children will leave school or a certain class not even realizing the effect it can have on them in the near future. But yet, he we are Zek… You are about to embark upon a different path that many choose not to trout because it is to hard. To difficult or challenging. I’m not sharing this moment that Zek and I had to impress any reader, but to press upon you. In order to raise successful kids/children we must be influential and valuable unto our kids/children. Having them see the value in teachers, mentors, coaches, and most importantly you the parent(s) or guardian(s) is essential. There is nothing wrong with kids/children learning what grit is and how it can help them become resilient.

I hope there was something that resonated with you the reader today. And please, remember these are just suggestions or recommendations that I have learn’t and still practicing today. If you would like more insight such as; books, audiobook, articles, websites, or webinar. Please, feel free to reach out via email or direct message.